Don’t worry about feeling hopeful. When we’re feeling anxious about the future, we tend to think we need to muster a sense of hope before we shift into problem-solving mode. In other words, we focus on fixing the emotions first.
But
that’s the wrong order of operations. Problem-solving isn’t a result of
hope. It’s what calms us down and instills hope in us. Engaging our
frontal lobe, the part of the brain that defines goals and breaks them into
manageable steps, can shift us out of anxiety and into a more thoughtful state
of being. What once seemed like certain doom can start to look like a complex
but manageable challenge.
So when you feel like the world is crumbling around you, don’t worry about turning yourself into a calm optimist. Instead, try picking up a small piece of the problem and learning more about it. When you begin to think about the facts, without shutting or attacking others, you begin to find a way to manage the fear and face the challenge. And paradoxically, when you begin to think about yourself instead of everyone else, you become a little less selfish and more of a resource to those around you.
https://forge.medium.com/you-dont-have-to-feel-hopeful-96f04a924f5b
-Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and the author of Everything Isn't Terrible (December 2019)