Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Roxane Gay

[T]his is a defense of thin skin. It is a defense of boundaries and being human and enforcing one's limits. It is a repudiation of the incessant valorizing of taking a joke, having a sense of humor. It is a rejection of the expectation that we laugh off everything people want to say and do to us.

I think a lot about how we are constantly asked to make our skin ever thicker. Toughen yourself, we're told, whoever we are, whatever we've been through or are going through. Stop being so brittle and sensitive. Lighten up.

I'm not talking about constructive criticism or accountability but, rather, the intense scrutiny and unnecessary commentary people have to deal with when they challenge others' expectations one way or another.

Who is served by all this thick skin? Those who want to behave with impunity. If the targets of derision only had thicker skin, their aggressors could say or do as they please. If we all had the thickest of skins, no one would have to take responsibility for cruelties, big or small.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/29/opinion/culture/will-smith-oscars-roxane-gay.html?referringSource=articleShare


Thursday, March 10, 2022

Mhairi McFarlane

The combination of alcohol and incredible, soul-flattening misery has given me a malign superstrength. Every other expression of anger in my life, I realize, always came restrained with concerns about how it made me look, or how it affected the other person, or if I could get fired. Consequences, basically. 'I don't care' is often said but rarely fully meant. But I don't. I have nothing left to protect or worry about. From where I'm standing, I've already lost everything. I'm the origins story of a dangerous comic-book villain.

- Mhairi (vah-ree) McFarlane, Just Last Night