via @iamthirtyaf (instagram)
our own personal happiness project
Revolutionary change does not come as one cataclysmic moment (beware of such moments!) but as an endless succession of surprises, moving zigzag toward a more decent society. We don’t have to engage in grand, heroic actions to participate in the process of change. Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.
Even when we don’t “win,” there is fun and fulfillment in the fact that we have been involved, with other good people, in something worthwhile. We need hope.
An optimist isn’t necessarily a blithe, slightly sappy whistler in the dark of our time. To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something.
--"The Optimism of Uncertainty," Sept. 2004. (https://www.howardzinn.org/collection/the-optimism-of-uncertainty/)
The future is an infinite of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.
Beauty is not found in the actual object itself but is the experience of perceiving it. Beauty is the perceptual event.
Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.
Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking
Being with good humans who have a common goal also bolsters my secondary immune system that processes and disarms the evil of this world. We make art and music together; a sword that rips through the manufactured body of hate that is forever these days trying to block out the sun, isolate us and eat us alive. We will not lay down our lives to it. Never.
--from her Substack newsletter Entering the Lung, "No News Is Good News," Aug. 18, 2025.
Even by Kingsolver’s standards, Demon Copperhead’s success was “of a different magnitude”. As well as the Pulitzer, she became the only woman to win the Women’s prize twice. Her sales were in a “new stratosphere”. She tells me she has given much of her income away for years. “Material success came gradually. So I had time to learn how to draw a cap on what we need as a family and what we can do with the rest.” So, when “that first royalty cheque came in and our eyes all popped wide open, I thought: ‘I could do something significant with this.’”
--The author being interviewed about a recovery center she has funded with her book sales.
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/jul/05/the-damage-is-terrifying-barbara-kingsolver-on-trump-rural-america-and-the-recovery-home-funded-by-her-hit-novel
You can make something that might not be the realization of everything that you've ever wated, but it still serves its purpose. It's still functional, and you made it, and that's fantastic. And maybe the next one will be closer to what your ideal is. It's...yeah, absolutely a never-ending process of building upon things and working not toward perfection but toward just what you want.
A now-famous study by the University of California, Santa Barbara, noted that, in a series of recorded public conversations between men and women, 48 interruptions occurred, 46 of which came from men. The 2024 Women in the Workplace survey by McKinsey found that nearly 40% of women experienced being interrupted or spoken over “more than others” at work, against 20% of men.
Men in public spaces, according to research, talk more than women, talk over women, and talk down to women, contributing to the rise of gender neologisms such as manologuing, bropropriating and mansplaining.
I was arguing about the merits of [leaving] a glass by the sink. But for my wife, it wasn't about the glass. It wasn't about dishes by the sink, or laundry on the floor…It was about consideration. About the pervasive sense that she was married to someone who did not respect or appreciate her. And if I didn't respect or appreciate her, then I didn't love her in a manner that felt trustworthy. She couldn't count on the adult who had promised to love her forever, because none of this dish-by-the-sink business felt anything like being loved.
I now understand that when I left that glass there, it hurt my wife—literally causing pain—because it felt to her as if I had just said, "Hey. I don't respect you or value your thoughts and opinions. Not taking four seconds to put my glass in the dishwasher is more important to me than you are."
Suddenly, this moment is no longer about something as benign and meaningless as a dirty glass. Now this moment is about a meaningful act of love and sacrifice. My wife knew I was reasonably smart, so she couldn't figure out how I could be so dense after hundreds of these conversations. She began to question whether I was intentionally trying to hurt her and whether I actually loved her at all.
Here's the thing. A dish by the sink in no way feels painful or disrespectful to a spouse who wakes up every day and experiences a marriage partner who communicates in both word and action how important and cherished their spouse and relationship are. My wife didn't flip shit over a dish by the sink because she's some insufferable nag who had to have her way all the time. My wife communicated pain and frustration over the frequent reminders she encountered that told her over and over and over again just how little she was considered when I made decisions.
--From This Is How Your Marriage Ends (2022)